Co-written with Judy Minami. Originally published in LLL US Western Division’s Connections #70, March-April 1997
For Area Administrators, major La Leche League events such as Area Conferences, Area Council Meetings, and other LLL gatherings usually entail more than simply attending sessions and gleaning information. You may be involved in planning the sessions or a specific event such as the banquet. You may be responsible for meals, the bookstore, or registration. Moore than likely you’ll also be asked to share your expertise by presenting a session or two.
If your family is accompanying you to the conferences, there will be extra packing, complete with activities and games to keep children busy on the way there and at the gathering. If the family is staying home while you attend alone, you may want to be sure they have clean laundry and a few well-planned meals in the refrigerator of freezer, and you may need to arrange for child care or transportation to and from activities. Travel and the stress of finances may also be factors.
A major LLL event can take great amounts of careful preparation, and you may want to plan for that week back home just as carefully. Here are some suggestions.
1. Plan a day or two of no commitments. If you’ve been away from some or all members of your family, they need some one-to-one time with you, and you all need to get back into the routine of daily life.
I always try to make sure than even if life has to keep happening after a trip away for LLL, that the day immediately following my return is empty. No commitments. That didn’t work out the first day I was home from a recent Area Conference and I felt “off†and exhausted longer than I would have otherwise. It confirmed how important this “sacred day†is for me. —Mary Margaret Coffield
I try to spend the first two days after a big LLL meeting or event in my pajamas and slippers. —Diana Lewis
2. Avoid scheduling another LLL event for at least a week. Needing to leave again and having to focus on preparation for another LLL event so soon keeps you from concentrating on your family and yourself, making you feel tired, distant, and unavailable for a longer period of time.
Last year, prior to knowing the dates of USWD staff meetings, I committed to doing CE sessions at two Area Conferences. Both times the staff meeting was the weekend before the Area Conference. I arrived home late Sunday night and had to leave again on Thursday. The three days home were spent unpacking and repacking, doing laundry, and preparing to present my sessions. There was no time to focus on myself or my family. Even with older teens (my youngest was 16), they and my husband became critical about my being distant and demanding about their needs/wants. Complaints about even the smallest things abounded. Each time it took at least two to three weeks for the family to get back in sync and on an even keep again.
—Judy Minami
3. If there is an LLL activity that week, perhaps you can contribute in a different way and take on a different and/or less intense role than you did at the conference or other event. Hostessing, cooking, or driving rather than doing a presentation or being responsible for planning or execution ay be easier on you. Another option is to plan on not attending.
We had our regular monthly chapter Meeting soon after I returned from an LLLI Conference. I knew I’d be feeling tired and disoriented, so I contributed by hostessing the meeting, not planning anything more for my brain than baking and running the vacuum. —Kathy Grossman
What seems to help me the most if the activities afterwards I do engage in call for little output from me but allow me to be inward, since I’ve just returned from several days of outputting. It is as if my reserves are used up and I need to refill. So I can still participate in activities if I don’t have to take a leadership role, prepare very much, or think very hard. —Mary Margaret Coffield
4. Do your unpacking in stages. Gifts brought back for your family would certainly get unpacked soon after your arrival home. Getting laundry into the hamper and nice clothes onto hangers may also be a priority. But papers and handouts that need filing, evaluations that require thought, or other LLL work can usually wait until you get reacquainted with your family and routine.
I’ve managed to buy doubles of things I need when I travel (hair dryer, travel iron, sewing kit, slippers, umbrella, jammies, misc,), and I keep my suitcase ready to go. This way I don’t have to pack and unpack most of what is in my suitcase—saves me time on both ends. I also take lots of folders and big envelopes to put in the zillions of papers we always seem to collect. This had truly reduced the anxiety and frustration I used to feel after I arrived home. Wading through mounds of stuff or worse, not finding what I needed, really wore met out. —Barbara Emanuel
5. Focus on yourself. LLL gatherings for Area Administrators can be a constant flow of people. Regular meetings and sessions are punctuated with extra one-to-one get-togethers. Discussion are often scheduled at breakfast, lunch, and in between sessions or they happen spontaneously while traveling to the conference or waiting for the elevator. All this social interaction may need some balance time for personal recharging.
After being around many people, I need some alone time. I can sew, read, walk, or even watch TV, as long as I’m alone. And some of these things are really food for distracting me from thoughts of the gathering, acting as a transition time back to routine and “normal†(whatever that is). So I temper family time with “me†time and in no time, I’m back in the groove. —Judy Minami
For me, even driving myself home from the airport helps. I can listen to music and unwind for a couple hours before I have to be “on†for the family.
—Juanita Watt
6. Focus on your family. If you take your children or family with you to an LLL gathering, they often don’t get the time and attention they need and deserve in the midst of all the other activities. Take time to reconnect with them.
We try to think ahead to what it will be like while I’m gone and what the week will be like right after I’m home so that no one has to rush about. An example of this is that Robert was to take Halloween party items to school a day or so after I was returning from the fall USWD Staff Meeting. I bought what he needed ahead and had them stapled into a paper bag and labeled before I left so I didn’t have to think about that when I got back. In many ways, the kids need to know “you are still taking care of me,†and they can handle the absence and reentry more effectively.
—Mary Margaret Coffield
My family is aware that I might be a basket case when I return home. My husband alerts them that mom might be tired when she returns. I find that my attention span is shortened and I have alerted my husband that I might not remember and be able to process all he tells me. It is hard to listen 100 percent, so I just try to accept that! I need lots of hugs and touching from my husband and children, so we cozy a lot!
—Elizabeth White
My husband and I have learned not to give each other a lot of new information on the way home from the airport. I know to keep my mouth shut about what repairs need to be done when he comes home from a business trip. When I return from an LLL event, he knows not to tell me about all the things that came in the mail!
—Kathy Grossman
7. Focus on sleep, good food, and water. With socializing and hectic schedules, sleep at LLL gatherings is something that is usually lacking. Even with carefully planned luncheons and banquets, we often don’t eat as well as we should. Snacking and skipped meals seem inevitable. Lack of nutritious food and changes in our regular diet can make us feel out of sorts and crabby and, uncorrected, can lead to illness. Dehydration is also often a problem for busy conference goers, especially if the drying air of airplane environments is involved. Being conscientious about getting regular sleep, good food, and water at home for a few days can get us back to feeling our usual energy and vitality more quickly.
When I got home from a recent USWD Staff Meeting, I slept for 21 hours straight.
—Juanita Watt
8. Focus on nursing. If you are a nursing mother, plan for extended nursing time when you get back home. Even at baby-friendly LLL functions, a distracted mother or baby might unwittingly be breastfeeding less with greater gaps between nursings. Nursing with no distractions once you get home may prevent plugged ducts and alleviate the anxiety baby might have experienced before and during the event.
Being good to yourself and focused and available to your family for the week after a major LLL event can smooth the transition back into home life and your ongoing LLL responsibilities. Ignoring physical, emotional, and family needs can lead to burnout. Experience will help you learn how to plan for the time after a major activity, recharging you emotionally and physically for participating in future La Leche League events.
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